grandparents

Piddingworth Greg Benton

'Piddingworth...where St. George's Cross is not yet banned.'
Mark Steyn

Grandparents

July the 26th is the feast day of Saints Anne & Joachim, the parents of
the blessed virgin Mary, and the grandparents of Jesus.

One may pause for a moment to consider the very special love and legacy
that our grandparents afford us.

For most of us, our experience with our grandparents is relatively brief
as we generally 'know' them at a time when their days are ending and
ours are just beginning. Some of us miss out on knowing our grandparents
at all whether because of distance or age. For those of us who have and
do know them, we recognise the unique place they occupy within our
families and our lives.

Grandparents tend to be very generous with their grandchildren in a way
that is 'free' from the attachments that we have to our parents, their children.
They remind us of 'who we are' and are our link to a past that helps us
to understand our present. We might also take some comfort in knowing
that if we have been 'spanked' by our own parents, they too have been
'spanked' by our grandparents. There is something mysterious in that.

Nana and Grandad tend to be able to accept more from us in a way
that our parents, with their 'responsibility', either cannot or will not.
Understanding and forgiveness toward our little faults come gently,
even if firmly, but always with acceptance...and perhaps some delight.

I was fortunate to have known all of my grandparents but was especially
close to my Mum's mother and father, Ernest and Rose Leonard.
My memory of them remains fresh even though their days on earth
ended fifty years ago. Their wonderful stories, hugs, presence, interest
and love are reminders of the happiest portion of my childhood and
are treasured. There was also always lots of tea, little cakes, toast and
other treats when they were with us. Grandad's change used to fall
from his pocket in his favourite chair and I think that he knew that
one of us would find it after he got up.

As a child, I could not know them beyond simply being their grandson.
Now, having been inspired to learn more about them and their lives,
I am able to 'know' them more as the wonderful persons that they truly are
and how they shaped the life of their children and my own life even
as they were shaped by their parents and grandparents. In them, one
is able to see a 'family' and a family's 'history'; rich with the story of
a time long past that resonates in this generation. Grandparents
underscore our need to 'belong', to have an 'identity' beyond the
things that normally occupy our attention in our daily life.

In this day and age where the nuclear family itself is under siege and
children are often to be found in some very complex relationships, one
can hope that they might have some fruitful access to their grandparents.

It always saddened me in the course of my ministry with 'seniors', to
frequently learn of their lonely estrangement from their children and
grandchildren whose photographs invariably filled their rooms.
'Oh well, they have their own lives', was the oft-repeated refrain
as if to excuse the family from it's inherent obligation to honour
each in their generation. If 'they' have 'their own lives' why don't
they include those whose lives included them?

Whatever the circumstance in families today, it doesn't require much
effort for anyone to make a telephone call, write a note, or preferably
to take some time to visit and include one's grandparents in family
life.

Their time among us when we are children is fleeting but can be a treasure
for those who recognise the importance of what they are able to
share whilst 'life goes on'...including the legacy of their own lives
as well as their wisdom and love.

There is no mention in the gospel of Jesus' grandparents but they
were undoubtedly there in that community of Nazareth where,
as a family, they were able to share the riches of their loving
care with their grandson and helped to shape his life.

Ernest & Rose Leonard
beloved grandparents

Saints Anne & Joachim
with their daughter,
The Blessed Virgin Mary